Easy

Here is a recipe for a brine that is sufficient to pickle up to 10 normal-size eggs. If you are using quail eggs, you can obviously pickle a lot more. The day we took this picture we had quail eggs, but truly, our favorite eggs are the smallest hen eggs available: the peewees. We even love the name, and their size is perfect because you can gobble up two or three. Remember to leave your eggs at room temperature for an hour before cooking them.

We can’t stress enough the importance of cleanliness when doing a recipe of this sort. That means a good washing of the jar and other equipment and yourself.

We champion this generalization: gentlemen eat their beef with steak sauce—the brown type, thick and sharp. Although we support Heinz ketchup and we think it calls for respect and pride, we don’t use bottled steak sauce. Here is an easy and tasty alternative. It is delicious with Filet de Boeuf (page 248).

A great way to maintain matrimonial bliss is not to make classic stock in your house. Do this one instead. It’s another one-Creuset wonder where everything goes in the oven. It’s enough for a few recipes, plus you can eat the meat with pickles and mustard for a classic French snack. You can use a bit more meat if you have it. This is more of a guideline than a recipe. Remember that when you make a stock, it has to look like you would want to eat the meat at any stage—that is, don’t use old meat or lean cuts. You want that marrow taste and that thick jelly feel.

This is what we imagine old Scots at the turn of the century in the Montreal’s famed Golden Square Mile neighborhood ate for breakfast: steak, kidneys, kippers, and a few eggs. After a gin festivity, it would be exactly what it takes to get you back on your feet. It’s delicious with a little watercress salad.

Montreal institutions like Gibbys and Moishes have been selling their own classic steak spice for decades. Here’s our take on the Montreal steak spice. This is an all-purpose seasoning used in many Montreal-style beef, pork, and steaky fish dishes.

If you’re a fervent practitioner of the nose-to-tail thing, you probably scoff at tenderloin, favoring instead oxtail or udders. In a hypothetical dystopian foodist nation, animals will be bred in humane ways to produce more spleens, livers, and guts than loins and legs. No joke. The meat business wanted pig with more bacon and less shoulder a few years ago, a disturbing enough thought. It’s a common dichotomy and funny somehow. The rich feast on what was once peasant food. Think about it: risotto, polenta, offal, eggs are everywhere. Once again, we don’t omit ourselves from the criticism. In fact, it’s the stuff that keeps us up at night. The fillet comes from the small end of the tenderloin, from a muscle inside the ribs called the psoas major, which reportedly has the function of providing the quadruped with an efficient humping motion. We put filet mignon on the blackboard, get sick of it, and a week later put it back on the board. Cut into thick chunks, hog tied, and roasted, tenderloin is great. One of my favorite dishes, beef Stroganoff, is also best made with tenderloin (I omitted it from this book for fear of being ostracized by the cool chef gang). Also, the River Café Raw Beef (tenderloin, too) is still one of my favorite cookbook recipes.

Sauce Vin Rouge is our mother-ship sauce, good on all matters of protein. When seasoning this sauce, or any sauce, keep in mind that it won’t be consumed like a soup, so go ahead and be relatively liberal with the salt.

Here is another of our kitchen staples, which tastes like an extraction of the essence of onion soup. Awesome on liver, veal, beef, or even schnitzel, it’s the taste of winter in Paris.

When we first started cooking, beef was like tuna is today: incorrect to buy and incorrect to sell. But over the last couple of years, beef is finding its place again, especially with the burger courant sweeping the continent. We’ve used sirloins from large companies, but doing so feels a bit like cheating on my wife with a lady boy: part guilty, part disgusting, and yet I still buy it. Since we began purchasing more carefully aged and selected strip loins, this is now one of our favorite cuts. It is tasty, the perfect size, monolithic. The method here is specific to this strip loin, cooked medium-rare. Check the temperature chart (see page 242) for different levels of doneness. Remember that dry-aged meat tends to cook much faster because of its lower moisture content, so act accordingly. And when it comes to cooking, the weight of the steak does not matter as much as the thickness (our steaks each weigh about 21 to 22 ounces/610 to 640 grams), which is why you see only the thickness here. Also, the middle of the steak is where you can see doneness, not on the tip, so insert an instant-read thermometer through the side to the center to verify it is ready. If you must, you can also cut the steak in two to check doneness. Remember, though, you can always cook longer, but not “de-cook.”

We owe it to Riad Nasr and Lee Hanson at Balthazar for the revival of the plat pour deux in restaurants. It’s great for the passionate cook, and great for the passionate diner, as it denotes a more willing, yet easygoing approach. Nicolas Jongleux used to do a guinea hen for two, the breast on the bone with jus truffé, in fine china; vegetables in a silver casserole dish; and a second service of legs with squash gnocchi and mimolette cheese. It was beautiful food made perfect by the antique tableware. Alain Ducasse once said that if you go with a date to the cinema, you don’t go to different movies; the same applies to dining. If you and your companion agree, it can be heaven. Why another book with a côte de boeuf? Because this is the Joe Beef côte de boeuf. A côte de boeuf is a majestic cut. It is 2 1/2 pounds (1.2 kilograms) of natural, aged, carefully butchered steer goodness. In our mind, a côte de boeuf has to be cut by hand, leaving the bone intact. (One, if not the main, difference between European and American butchery is the use of the meat saw. In North America, the cuts are based on sawing parts; in Europe, the cuts are made by knife, every muscle separated.) At Joe Beef, the side dishes keep coming when you order a côte de boeuf: green salad, fries, horseradish, red wine sauce, and marrowbones. This, in addition to the quality of the meat, is why we cannot justify lowering the price.

When we opened Joe Beef, we didn’t have a patio. We had a patch of wasteland where only burdock grew. Not many people know what burdock is, though they may have seen or eaten the roots in vegan or Japanese restaurants. Its Latin name is Arctium lappa and it is a biennial plant, which means that the first year it makes a long taproot and hairy rhubarblike leaves. It survives the winter because of its reserve of food, and then the second year, it bears flowers, then fruits. These itchy little clingers stick to your pants. It’s a treasure chest of medicinal virtue for lungs, hair, and bowels. We didn’t know what to do with it. But the four leathery-skinned Italian men who came to lay our concrete slab knew what to do with it. In fact, it took them four hours to lay the slab, half of which was spent carefully pulling and collecting the burdock roots. They said they would wash it when they got home, then steep it in red wine and consume it as a tonic. So now every year, we send the newbies to dig for burdock in the fertile grounds of the Liverpool House backyard and make a few bottles of that tonic.

This recipe, aka Kälte Glühwein trinken für Freunde im Sommer, was inspired by a box of German mulled wine: it depicted a blond, deliriously happy family sitting down to a few cups of this mulled tea. Serve in highball glasses.

This drink started as a vinaigrette for razor clams, and it still is. But with scotch, really cold, it’s awesome. If you have a juicer, it’s the best. If you don’t, a blender and a sieve will do. Chervil is one of those herbs that you can’t cook, and if you buzz it in syrup, for example, you will end up with something more akin to soup Florentine than a cocktail component. Serve in a lowball glass.